Dear Kids at the Pool,
Firstly, you are not allowed to run around the pool. Please stop running, but more importantly, stop staring at me surprised when I tell you not to. It's the rules, it's on the signs. And it's not just a rule at this pool, it's the rules at every pool ever! You have NEVER been allowed to run around the pool!
Secondly, no you are not allowed to do back flips. If I said no to you doing them yesterday*, why would I say yes today? Has the edge of the pool stopped being hard and neck breaking? Have you stopped needing you head to be in one piece? Do the other kids today like being jumped on? Am I no longer responsible for the safety of you and them? And no, the other lifeguard didn't say you could!
And finally, I know this is a small, but you kids at the canteen are idiots! You can not get 50 cents worth of 20 cent lollies, and you can not get $1 worth of 15 cent lollies! It doesn't go. And if you are going to get lots of lollies and use up all of your money, do it all at once, don't stand there and get them 20 cents at a time!
That is all,
Annoyed Lifeguard.
*And the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and every other day we have been open!
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2 comments:
You are THIIIIIIIIIIS hilarious. (pretend I'm stretching my arms out, and that they reach around the entire world.... twice)
Thanks, you are awesome.
I don't think hilarious is the correct word here. I believe that is annoyed.
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